Pause
22.04.2020
I started a Masterclass today. David Sedaris: Storytelling and Humor. I have done 2 lectures so far. I am happy to find familiarities in his and my process of writing. He keeps journals. I used to keep journals as well. When I was younger, I’d tell myself so often, “I’d write about this”, “I’d write about that”, to almost everything that was happening around me.
One of his tips is, “your life is worth writing about”. He lives to write, and within the small number of hours that I have known him, I have read some insanely interesting stories of his life. The man fed his tumor to a turtle. He liked it! I am talking about the turtle. He went to a taxidermy shop to buy a stuffed owl for his boyfriend on Valentine’s Day. And if this wasn’t strange enough, the shop owner showed him a preserved head of a teenage girl from 400 years ago! That’s crazy, right?
So now, when I compare my life experiences to his, not much comes to mind at first.
But then, I am only living in a house with 2 other people, in Goa, and I am not on talking terms with one of them. Oh, all this is amidst a nation-wide or even a world-wide lockdown. For what it’s worth, it’s a beautiful house, and it’s Goa! I came to Goa in December for a 3-day trip, and I have been staying in the city ever since.
Not too bad for a start!
His other tip is, to write every day about stuff that happens around you, and keep notes of the things you’d want to write about. Familiar moment 2.0: I already do that, the second bit of it! I have a WhatsApp group with myself, where I things that I’d want to remember; and, put in my memoir one day, that’d become a bestseller, and I’d be famous, and many many people would look forward to reading me every day. Distant dreams!
Yesterday, me and Sabi, the housemate I am on talking terms with, were hanging on our beautiful balcony. I was dancing to some old school-country music, when she said, with disgust on her face, “why you been wearing same top for two days?” My first thought to that was, it’s only been 1.5 days technically. But I understand her feelings. This top is a white, well almost white, spaghetti top with many nostalgic oil and food stains from the time when I was working at a restaurant doing kitchen prep.
So, I went on to say things like, don’t you have cloths that have gone tardy but are super comfortable; don’t you love wearing them all the time; ok fine, I will shower and change it today.
She said, “why you talking all about me, this about you, not me”.
Her response made me pause.
I paused because it was true. And, I paused because I pause now. I pause to reflect upon things. I pause to absorb the beauty around me. I pause to listen to the birds and the waves. I pause to think things through. I pause to calm myself. I pause to take a deep breath and exhale. I pause.
I have written pause so many times that the word pause seems weird to me now!
I am so grateful for these past few months of my life. It’s moments like this one, and many more, that make me want to pause, and ponder over the beauty of it. It makes me realize that I have been living in a set pattern for a very long time. And even though, I am far from being ride of this pattern, it’s this realization that gives me so much joy. Joy of knowing that there is so much beyond this pattern. So much more to this life. To experience. So much to enjoying every bit of your being.
I don’t mean life altering stuff or building a Taj Mahal and chopping off builders’ hands kind of stuff. I mean only a few steps out. Small stuff. As small as just a thought maybe: my world is beautiful! Try it. Think of your loved ones, aren’t they beautiful?!
I know it’s not all as hunky-dory as I make it sound. But tell me, why not? We all have a lot of shitty things in our lives, but we also have a lot of good things. So, when you are worried about one of those shitty things, pause. Pause and think about the good things. The shitty things would become slightly-less-shitty things. Then I think, the pause is worth it!
